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What snow?

February 10th, 2010 Bishop No comments

Honestly, I’m having a lot of trouble getting over how everyone and their brother seems just obsessed with this “weather” we’re having, and furthermore I’m having a lot of trouble figuring out just what they’re talking about. It bugs me a little bit, but with beautiful days like today it just doesn’t seem I should be letting it bother me the way I am, you know?

Just the other day my boss commented that, for precipitation (or for “snow”?), we are three inches ahead of the game so far this year. I just gave him a funny look. Here I am in my baggies and my flower print shirt and this guy is talking about nasty weather like that? I’m like, dude, if it were snowing, would I be wearing my sandals? I’m not yet certain that the world is going to hell in a hand basket, but it does seem like people are losing their minds.

In the meantime, stay thirsty, my friends.

Signed,

The most interesting man in the world.

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Snakes in the Grass

January 20th, 2010 Bishop 1 comment

It is longstanding Guild policy to discourage complaints about certain tactics used in video games. Terms like “noob tube” and “camper” often have little meaning to Guild operatives; if the tactic works, it is valid, and if not, then whoever is using it is a fool. Recent debate regarding tactics in Crysis Wars, however, has led to two Guildsmen of the old school actually resorting to similar terms in order to describe actions undertaken in the game by various parties.

If the language sounds stilted, it’s because the author is attempting to be scrupulously objective. Not that the author considers that to be a valid excuse.

One party argues that Wars’ stealth mode is too effective, thus making it almost imperative that players adopt a passive, defensive posture rather than an aggressive, offensive posture when playing, thereby neutralizing—to an extent, at least—the effect of basic FPS skillsets on the outcome of a game and reducing “deathmatch” games to something more closely resembling “hide and seek.”

The other party suggests that Wars’ stealth mode addresses a problem in the original Crysis, where stealth was seen as a liability, and that Wars’ new, more effective mode is an improvement over the former. Furthermore, as all parties have equal access to stealth, the offended parties could simply adopt the tactics used by their opponents. Guild doctrine, obviously, supports this stance; in fact, whether or not all parties have equal access to stealth is irrelevant. Traditional Guild doctrine would hold that stealth would still be a valid tactic even if it were unbalanced.

However, something came up in discussion today that calls into question how much support this old doctrine really has in the modern Guild: one Guildsman suggested that the problem could be alleviated by adjusting graphics settings down so that the stealth mode effect stood out more. Another immediately protested that this would be “cheating.”

…This is in obvious conflict with the doctrine above stating that, if a tactic works, it is valid.

Of course the Guild has always looked down (at least selectively) on underhanded techniques like hacking; changing underlying game files to net an advantage over one’s opponent is bad form, and at the very least calls into question the player’s true ability. (Interestingly, the Guild has traditionally imposed very light punishments for such infractions as “looking over the enemy’s shoulder to see where he might be” and other similar forms of cheating.) However, as things like “graphics settings” are a part of the game and require no such underhanded modification—indeed must be turned down, often to the detriment of the player’s experience, if a rig cannot handle a given game—one wonders if this can actually be defined as cheating, and more particularly if the old school Guild could have defined it as such.

At this point, the author does not seek so much to question one argument or the other, but rather the old doctrine itself, and so the question is:

    Fundamentally, has the Guild changed in such a way that “fun” may now be considered more important than “winning”?

The author—Bishop—asks this because it is his opinion that his win-at-all-costs attitude may have had significant influence on the old doctrine and wonders if, having been made wiser (or at least less apt to win) by the wear and tear he has experienced over the years, it might be time to reevaluate these old standards.

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O Death

January 19th, 2010 Bishop No comments

O, Death
O, Death
Won’t you spare me over til another year
Well what is this that I can’t see
With ice cold hands takin’ hold of me
Well I am death, none can excel
I’ll open the door to heaven or hell
Whoa, death someone would pray
Could you wait to call me another day
The children prayed, the preacher preached
Time and mercy is out of your reach
I’ll fix your feet til you can’t walk
I’ll lock your jaw til you can’t talk
I’ll close your eyes so you can’t see
This very air, come and go with me
I’m death I come to take the soul
Leave the body and leave it cold
To draw up the flesh off of the frame
Dirt and worm both have a claim
O, Death
O, Death
Won’t you spare me over til another year
My mother came to my bed
Placed a cold towel upon my head
My head is warm my feet are cold
Death is a-movin upon my soul
Oh, death how you’re treatin’ me
You’ve close my eyes so I can’t see
Well you’re hurtin’ my body
You make me cold
You run my life right outta my soul
Oh death please consider my age
Please don’t take me at this stage
My wealth is all at your command
If you will move your icy hand
Oh the young, the rich or poor
Hunger like me you know
No wealth, no ruin, no silver no gold
Nothing satisfies me but your soul
O, death
O, death
Wont you spare me over til another year
Won’t you spare me over til another year
Won’t you spare me over til another year

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I hate people

January 18th, 2010 Bishop 1 comment

Someone made the mistake of asking me why I hate people.

I suppose it’s because too large a proportion of them are stupid. We coddle our idiots in the West, you see. We have signs that read “High voltage!” And then when some fucktard electrocutes himself, burning off half his skin and condemning himself to a life as a crippled fucktard, we then mandate that the guy who owned the sign now has to pay him hundreds of thousands of dollars so that he can still buy pussy and reproduce, creating more fucktards.

It would be better to remove the sign and let the fucktard cull himself from the herd.

I’d love to know what kind of fourth world ape actually looks up at high lines and says, “I bet I can climb on those without getting fried.”

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Bad choices

October 26th, 2009 Bishop 1 comment

I’m not sure I, in good conscience, can support Infinity Ward by purchasing the upcoming MW2. I will likely avoid the issue by picking up Dragon Age instead, since MW’s multiplayer is annoying and the singleplayer dull on replay.

I’m open to new info on the subject, but things don’t sound great.

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New Guild Download Speed Record

August 22nd, 2009 2Cold Scorpio No comments

2.25 MB/s! Peak speed was 2.35 MB/s (not pictured). And that’s megabytes per second, not megabits. ;-) I pulled down 117 megabytes in 52 seconds. I don’t care who you are, that’s pretty damn good!

Needless to say, I’m pretty happy with my recent Internet speed upgrade, especially given that it generally goes twice as fast as it’s supposed to. I’m equally happy that I finally found a server that utilizes all of that bandwidth. :mrgreen:

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IE vs. Firefox vs. Who-the-fuck-ever…

June 30th, 2009 Bishop 3 comments

I’m sick of this stupid holy war. You know there’s a problem when Microsoft supporters are apt to be the most reasonable of the combatants in any sort of conflict. Holy carpal tunnel…

Here’s the thing, ladies and gentlemen: IE 8 works. Firefox and Chrome, for all their panache, do not.

You can blame it on Shockwave or Adobe Flash or whatever you want, but on the modern web you have to play nice with the 800 pound gorilla or you get smashed. When I open up Meebo to bring up my AIM, Yahoo, And MSN accounts and shoot the shit with people, I expect it to work. Which it does. But only if you’re using Internet explorer. In either Chrome or Firefox, I’m subjected to constant crashes due to Adobe Flash and Shockwave. This is unacceptable.

…and it’s apparent everywhere on the internet, too. So why the snobbery? Stop acting like Internet Explorer is causing all your problems and understand that, sometimes, your precious, open-source, unfuckable software is broken, too.

Jeesh.

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Set 1, Bridge 1

June 23rd, 2009 Bishop No comments

small-triangle

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TK Rook

June 22nd, 2009 Bishop No comments

ISV Wight
0225 11.01.3026
Dunne Sea, Roberts Leyline

She breathed in the darkness.

Silken sheets caressed her bare skin as her chest rose and fell, and she shivered. Though her eyes were open, there was nothing to see. This was her quiet time. Perhaps she was only gathering her thoughts, or preparing herself for the unknown. But she would never have confessed what she really thought she was doing. In moments like this she would lie there, naked, and feel.

A scram interrupt. She checked her watch. And it’s four in the morning back at CenCom. I’ll be late getting home again.

Captain TK Rook stretched beneath the sheets and at last slipped out of her bed, rising lithely in the darkness. The soft red glow of her handset revealed only her contours, silhouetted against shadows. She stood there, letting the air touch her for a few more breaths, a few more heartbeats, before—still blind in the dark—pulling a shirt on over her head and slipping into her pants. She made up her mind not to cite herself for a breach of dress code at nearly three o’clock in the morning. Her handset beeped, a soft tone accompanied by a flash of green light.

She thumbed the button onscreen. “Yes?”

“Sorry to wake you, captain; there’s been a—” The officer hesitated for a moment, a little confusion in her voice as she realized that she had not, in fact, awakened the captain. “We’ve just had a Scram 2 Interrupt. Reversion in 1:15. Should I patch any communications through to your quarters?”

“No,” said Rook, straightening her hair as she brought up the lights in her room. “If there’s a call, I’ll take it in the conference room.”

“Yes, captain.”

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Set 2, Bridge 5

June 21st, 2009 Bishop No comments

bridge-2-5

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