GuildCom

“To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women.”

“Jack Daniel’s.  Drink it.”

“If it turns your reticule red, it’s better off dead.”  -Adam Sessler, X-Play’s F.E.A.R. 2:  Project Origin review

“Does the Pc version work on the xbox 360?” -cyberspider2

“ALWAYS the LoJack solution.”

“The sun offends me.  Turn it off.”

“Wow, your computer is like AIDS in a box.”  –NinjaInACan

“Exp. points needed for level up:  000000000001″

“Kicking more ass than Bishop’s rogue.”

“P. Diddy says GuildCom is open late.”

“A man’s heart can travel only so far from his feet.”

“Somebody told me there’d be delicious cake…  >.<”

“Slowly burning out your RSS reader…one post, one day at a time.”

“The new, improved, slightly less-lazy GuildCom” …Lies!

“If you go 10 minutes on the Internet without seeing something dirty, you need upgrades.”

“Party’s over. Hand in your cookies.”

“Bishop’s M.I.A., so I’m running this shit now:  …free cookies for everyone!”

“The name’s Serif.  Sans Serif.”

“There’s a new serif in town.”

“Dear Lando, If you have to get your ship back in one piece, why do you fly like a fucking idiot? This isn’t Compton, and the Falcon isn’t a Cadillac.”

“Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.”

“You may say I’m a miracle mannequin.
Here I come with my mystical plan again.
Although you think I can, I’m just a man,
And I don’t walk on water.”
–Ozzy Osbourne, Walk on Water

“Knowing me, the smart money is on insanity.”

“I didn’t take over the world. I bought it for a song and now charge everyone outlandish rent. Life is good.”

“Coach Neil is now a verb. And I just don’t know when to quit.”

“According to my mom, my dad once removed the catalytic converters from his car using a hacksaw. This is on the short list of irresponsible things fathers shouldn’t mention to sons; it’s no wonder he didn’t tell me himself.”

“I love this plan. I’m excited to be a part of it!”

“The Defense Department wishes to inform you that your sons are dead because they were stupid.” -Goose, Top Gun

“You are not allowed to take poetic license with the Force!”

“This new theme kicks ass, but does not take names. Please submit your name via comments.”

“If there’s a blue key on this level, then I’m a purple-assed baboon.” -Fly Taggart, Doom: Knee-Deep in the Dead

“The times for conjugal duty prescribed in the Torah are: for men of independence, every day; for laborers, twice a week; for ass-drivers, once a week; for camel-drivers, once in thirty days; for sailors, once in six months. These are the rulings of Rabbi Eliezer.”

“The greatest pleasure is to vanquish your enemies and chase them before you, to rob them of their wealth and see those dear to them bathed in tears, to ride their horses and clasp to your bosom their wives and daughters.”

“Chuck Norris did, in fact, build Rome in a day.”

“[Removed.]”

“Did you actually expect something witty to be written here?”

“Crank the volume to 11 and rip off the fuckin’ knob!”

“Rated XXX, because NC-17 sounds lame.”

“First rule of the gunfight: bring a GUN.”

“A record eight consecutive posting days!”

“‘An it harm no one, do what ye will.’ What the hell?!”

“Why you bring the mean outta me?!”

“The last bastion of strategic destabilization.”

“You just got your asses whipped by a bunch of goddamn nerds.”

“I suggest a new strategy, Artoo…let the Wookie win.”

“Carter, hand me my thinking grenades.” -Peter Griffin, Family Guy

“This ain’t your daddy’s croquet, boy.”

“My Mustang is a hybrid; it burns gas *and* rubber.”

“Whatever puts food in the microwave…”

“Huttese: the official language of carbon trading.”

“Monkey balls. Very dangerous. You go first.”

“You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.” -Obi-Wan Kenobi, Star Wars: A New Hope

“Just because you are too chicken to piss people off doesn’t mean I am.”

“Just because your neighbor’s yard looks like shit doesn’t mean you don’t have to mow.”

“Serves more sarcasm than McDonald’s serves hamburgers.”

“THE badass blasts from the past!”

“I just lost 30 lbs…Thanks MegaShake!”

“Now comes with a new update every fortnight!”

“Doom taught me to shoot things that creep me out.”

“Screw this updating bullshit; I’m going to go play Oblivion…”

“Awww, hell no!”

“[space for rent - inquire inside]”

“If you know…pray for lag.”

Edit: That’s all of the old ones I can remember. If I forgot any…too damn bad. All newly retired taglines will go here. These may get reused again. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.