GuildCom

In light of Barrack Obama winning the presidency on Tuesday, the following scene was photographed at the U.S.-Canadian border:

…ok, not really.  But its still funny. 

I think having a black president pretty much lets the whole country off the hook in terms of race relations.

In the last six months of 2007, I made just a little over the bare minimum salary one can earn and still not get taxed on it. Including deductions for interest paid on student loans, I managed to squeak by with basically a 95% tax return. Uncle Sam kept social security and medicare and all that nonsense, but I got all the actually tax money back — nearly $1200. Which basically means that Uncle Sam just bought me my birthday present.

I already spent it. That doesn’t include the $300 for the “stimulus package,” but yeah–pretty much donedies with the actual tax return. It went for a brand new Smith and Wesson M&P AR-15. Can you think of a better use for gov’t money with the threat of a democratic president next year?

…unless your answer was “stockpile hi-cap magazines!” you should just give up and go home. I’m buying magazines this weekend.

http://www.ronpaulforums.com/showthread.php?t=110988

This is why we can’t get a libertarian candidate into the White House: the average libertarian apparently has an IQ of something like 36. I had no idea you could squeeze so much mis/dis information into just two forum pages. For instance, did you realize that DC electricity is “dangerous” (I’m sure high voltage AC transmission lines are perfectly safe) and can’t be transmitted over great distances?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/HVDC

Well I’m glad someone told me. A shame people are thinking of putting it in so many hard-to-reach places, since they seem to think it works better than AC.

This [The REA] apparent act had something to do with the Tennessee Valley Authority Act of 1933.

Interesting. I had no idea that the Rural Electrification Act, which enabled private citizens across the country to create communally-owned corporations (cooperatives), was in any way related an act that created the federally-owned Tennessee Valley Authority that handled a dam in just one place.

I was also unaware that the REA gave us all a federally-mandated “right” to electricity, a concept against which this angry poster rails:

There is no privilege in the constitution for electricity.

So how dare the government waste time and money providing it via cooperatives? (Which I had thought were actually owned by the people rather than the government. My mistake.) What they should have done, according to this brilliant child of God, was:

…fund either an information campaign or refund money to rural americans to buy alternative energy producing materials relative to the time.

Wow. See, I wasn’t even aware that there were alternative energy sources back in the 1930s. Oh, wait — there were, but their use was outlawed in the South in 1863. Guess we’re out of luck on that one. Even so, according to this next individual, there was still hope:

…before the REA farmers and people living in rural communities were actually becoming self-sufficient with wind and hydroelectric power.

(Yes, I’m chopping these quotes to ribbons. That’s because they all begin with qualifying statements that clearly mark everything hear as simple hearsay, like, “I heard a story that…” or, “I read that,” or just plain old, “I think….”)

It’s good to know that wind generation (which engineers can’t even get working TODAY) was viable in the 1930s. Even better, did you know that hydroelectric power was a viable option throughout the rural US? Funny how I can’t seem to find the river in my neck of the woods.

Now, here we have a truly intelligent idea:

Well maybe if we didn’t subsidize electricity for people living in rural areas, either the people who would live there will decide to live in a more convenient area and keep total costs to society lower, or they would develop cost efficient alternatives to using electricity via traditional means.

Ok, so they have to move to the city. How, then, are they going to bring in the crops to feed your city-slicker ass? But you mention they don’t have to move; they can just use alternative energy (again) … You mean like making flour by smashing wheat between two rocks? Gotcha. Glad we still have true innovators like this in society today.

But, even if that last guy was a kook, this dude here has the be-all, end-all solution:

Actually, if this Act were never enacted, the market would have solved this problem by cheaper means (generators, alternative sources). Or it would have prevented people from living in areas where it was very expensive to lay down the wire. It is just another example of wasteful and innefficient central planning.

The last part of his statement is identical to the jackass genius above, so we’ll focus on the first part, where he says that we can use alternative sources (still not viable in 2008) or generators (I can’t imagine what they use back at the ELECTRIC PLANT to make the electricity — is it a generator?! Oh, yeah!). As if using a small, portable generator doesn’t waste gasoline in a royally inefficient way and spew more precious carbon dioxide into the atmosphere.

But just wait! It gets better.

The Amish still don’t have electricity, and don’t fool yourself. They’re not living by candlelight. Their houses are just as bright as the English. They have refrigerators, etc. They use propane and generators.

…homg. Generators don’t produce electricity! Who knew? Damn. Here all this time I didn’t realize that a portable electric generator actually made magic fairies instead. And once again, I’d like to point out that small scale shit is less efficient than large-scale shit.

So there you have it folks: the reason we can’t elect a real right-wing president. Hell with this. I’m going to go live with the Amish and read my books by magic fairy light.

This is what happens when you have the balls to say the truth.

How dare this woman say what we all know already? I applaud this rabid left-wing crack whore for having the guts it took to step up to a microphone and tell it like it is.

What she said, simply, was that if Obama was not a black man, he would not be a candidate for the Democratic party’s presidential nomination. Who could possibly — logically (I realize how many people this disqualifies) — argue that’s not true?

But of course, no one has yet dared to argue that it isn’t true. They’re just calling it racist.

In which case, I applaud the racist bitch who said it.

I’ve always been vaguely insulted when, in watching the near-future sci-fi anime Ghost in the Shell: Standalone Complex, I hear references to the forces of the American Empire. In that work of fiction, the United States have ceased to exist and have been replaced by something far less material, far more omnipresent — and, arguably, more malevolent.

Why it bothers me is uncertain. The progression from Republic to Empire has been well documented before, hasn’t it? Perhaps there is not a marked turning point in American history like the assassination of Julius Caesar. Then again, maybe JFK is close enough. At any rate, maybe I should be happy someone agrees.

But I hate being right.

And yet the evidence is incontrovertible, isn’t it? We’ve gone from electing individuals to the presidency to electing families. Lineages. Dynasties. There are rules, in normal society, about nepotism. Too bad these are absent in American politics, where names like Kennedy, Bush, and Clinton have had a far too lasting effect on our landscape. This is America, the land of opportunity where anyone can be president!

…provided that no suitable heir can be found.

It goes without saying that I can’t find a candidate to support in this election, but I can almost guarantee that I’ll vote this time, if only so that I can bitch more vehemently when the wrong person gets into office. I consider myself to be a fairly egalitarian individual (albeit heartless) and so it does trouble me that my greatest hopes for November hinge on Americans still being racist enough and sexist enough to make Hillary and Barack unelectable.

Not that they aren’t absolutely abhorrent candidates in their own right.

But, honestly, can anyone point to a candidate with any hope of election that does not leave a foul taste in the mouth of any reasonable human being? Actual job qualifications — and the ability to complete a coherent, sincere, thought — seem to be at odds with the ability to ensnare the mind of the American public and squeeze votes out of the Imperial serfs.

At some point in the history of this “Republic,” we have exchanged ideals. Where once no government was most desirable and this democracy was simply a distasteful compromise, now we seem to seek a government powerful enough and benevolent enough to foot the bill for education, health care, and retirement plans for professional football players.

Et tu, Brute?

Literal translation: You, too, faggot?!

With Poetic License: You bastards have betrayed all that is American!